Sunday, 30 October 2016

Breaking News?


How do I keep up with the news without losing my mind?



That was my question today as I tried without much success to understand what is actually happening in Syria and what the political debates in the US are about beyond the insults, slander and dragging up old ghosts.
And it led me to start thinking about the whole system of news and media that we have found ourselves navigating without a lot of guidance.

Let me start with a disclaimer: I believe it is of huge importance to have an up to date understanding of significant world events happening in our nation and around the world. As a human, I cannot separate my existence from things such as civil war, climate change and poverty. And as a christian, I don't think I am walking in the way of love if I am unaware or apathetic about the suffering of people around the world. All this to say that I am in no way suggesting people shouldn't try to stay up to date with global news. Rather, I am questioning the nature, delivery and receiving of media.

When I get to work in the morning and open my internet browser, the system is set so that a news website is the homepage and before I even have a chance to start doing some work, I have to either ignore or navigate a dozen headlines all claiming to be 'Breaking News' that is worthy of being read Right Now.
I'm not concerned about having a news website as my homepage, there is definitely worse things that could come up. But what I am concerned about is that on this particular site, all the headlines get the same priority and significance. The brutal, incessant and accelerating civil war in Syria was given the same space and priority as "12 child celebrities you would never believe look so good as adults". There are certain things that I simply should not know about. For example, I have never met Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie, we're certainly not friends and I should not be able to read their divorce file. But I can.
In the words of Rob Bell, celebrity media is a "multi billion dollar industry designed to recreate the high school experience". There are cool kids and popular groups and bullies and all of the craziness that we're supposedly leaving behind at graduation but I'm still, in my mid twenties, trying to avoid it.

The other aspect of news that I'm struggling with right now is the timing (or lack thereof) and rhythm of it all.
In the natural world, everything has a rhythm, a cycle, a pattern to it. The seasons are predictably beautiful every year, the water gets from alpine springs to ocean to sky in the same way again and again. Birds, bison and bull sharks migrate in the same direction every year, and even our human bodies have sleep cycles, menstrual cycles and digestive cycles. I cannot think of a single natural system that does not operate in a rhythmic way of being. My conclusion from this is that there must be some wisdom in it. It works.

News on the other hand, no longer has any rhythm or cycle or predictable pattern to it. Gone are the days of the morning paper and evening news, now there is breaking news every 15 minutes, you can know about Taylor Swifts breakup before her boyfriend does and it just NEVER STOPS.
Which is fine if you don't access it, but now push notifications mean that I can go for a run along the harbor at sunset and not miss out on the drunken antics of the All Blacks after their latest game.

There is so much coming in, all the time. It's complicated, unrelated, loud and for the most part entirely irrelevant to our lives and what we consider to be important. There is no rhythm, rest or pattern. Is it any wonder that we have ever increasing rates of anxiety, attention deficit disorders and stress related illnesses?

This post doesn't even touch on Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat and similar social tools, but the same principles apply for all of those and it's effects are magnified, the more points of access into this world someone has.

The overall message of this is hopeful, because even though there is endless noise and chaos you can access at any time (not even the toilet is safe from this stuff anymore)... You don't have to let it in.
You are the curator of your own mind. You choose what comes into your brain and you choose what is important, relevant and significant for the kind of life you want to lead.
If you would rather not have your family time interrupted by the breaking news that Auckland got ten minutes of hail, that's up to you.

Friends, be aware of what is coming into your mind. There is limited capacity for concentration, ideas, creativity and connection... Use it on the things that are important to you.

Thursday, 6 October 2016

Relationships 101: Welcome to the School of the Top 40


Relationship 101: School of the Top 40

Recently I have been doing some work with a community youth support service and met some incredible young people who are charging into adulthood where they will take their place as the parents, teachers, counsellors and leaders of the next generation.

But something I’ve noticed is how much these young people listen to music… all day every day they are listening to, singing out loud, reading and absorbing the lyrics in the popular singles that are topping the charts.

As youth navigating in an adult world, they are learning how to relate to other people, how to communicate needs and desires, how to treat a woman and what it looks like to be in a relationship… And for many of these kids, none of the adults in their personal life are having these conversations with them. So naturally, they will learn these skills from the other adults in their world who are willing to share their wisdom… namely, Rihanna, Drake, Ariana Grande and Pink.

Based on a brief scan of the current Top 40, here’s some of the lyrics that are a part of shaping the relational understanding of our youth.

Warning: Some of this content is disturbing, racist and violent

 

“I torture you
Take my hand through the flames
I torture you
I'm a slave to your games
I'm just a sucker for pain
I wanna chain you up
I wanna tie you down
I'm just a sucker for pain”

 

“She from Africa but she fucks me like she Haitian
Ass black, but them eyes looking Asian
I gave her the can in Kansas
I got it on tape, she on candid camera
OKC I forgot we met in Oklahoma
I use to smoke Regina, she from Arizona
Then I met a girl in Cali I never disowned her
She got that high grade
Her weave come with diplomas, I want her”



I don't need eyes to see
I felt you touchin' me
High like amphetamine
Maybe you're just a dream
That's what it means to crush
Now that I'm wakin' up
I still feel the blow
But at least now I know

It wasn't love, it wasn't love
It was a perfect illusion
Mistaken for love, it wasn't love
It was a perfect illusion”



I go on and on
Can't understand how I last so long
I must have the superpowers
Last 223 thousand hours

It's cause I'm off of CC
And I'm off the Hennessy

And like your boy from Compton said
You know this dick ain't free!

I got girls that I shoulda made pay for it
Got girls that I shoulda made wait for it

Got girls that'll cancel a flight back home
Stay another day for it


I'm talkin' to ya
See you standing over there with your body
Feeling like I wanna rock with your body
And we don't gotta think 'bout nothin'
I'm comin' at ya
'Cause I know you got a bad reputation
Doesn't matter, 'cause you give me temptation
And we don't gotta think 'bout nothin'”

 

“Something don't feel right
Because it ain't right
Especially comin' up after midnight
I smell your secret, and I'm not too perfect
To ever feel this worthless
How did it come down to this?
Scrolling through your call list
I don't wanna lose my pride, but I'm a fuck me up a bitch
Know that I kept it sexy, and know I kept it fun
There's something that I'm missing, maybe my head for one

What's worse, lookin' jealous or crazy, jealous or crazy?
Or like being walked all over lately, walked all over lately
I'd rather be crazy”

 

Thanks to our Top 40, now you can get an education in relationships for free. The message coming through loud and clear is that relationships are about sex primarily and that jealousy and insecurity are attractive. They are learning about how the mind and emotions don’t matter as long as your body is available and that nothing is meant to last very long, as soon as a relationship requires work then walk away and find the next thrill.

If you are an adult with young people in your world, youth that you care about, that you want to see in healthy respectful relationships where they are empowered and shown they have worth…

Then please have the courage to start conversations about boundaries and respect and love. Don’t allow Drake and Ariana to be your teenagers teacher when it comes to the important stuff.