Dear Facebook, It's complicated....

I've been in a relationship with  Mr Facebook for 6 years now, on and off at times and we've had some rocky months but overall, we're in a pretty steady relationship.

Unfortunately, it isn't a very healthy relationship as I just found out. He stalks my life, knows all my friends and as I just found out, is also in relationship with 1.44 billion other people... wow, that's awkward. He also isn't really into quality time so whenever we hang out all I ever hear about is the highlights of all his other friends lives.

I'm assuming you're also in a relationship with Mr Facebook too, so I thought I would let you in on some information maybe you didn't know...

• The average smartphone user checks Facebook 14 times per day
• Several people have been murdered for unfriending someone on Facebook (I feel particularly at risk since I unfriended 400 people last weekend)
• Facebook tracks what sites you visit, even when you're logged out (I told you, over obsessive relationship)
• According to studies, 1 in 3 people feel less satisfied with their lives after visiting Facebook
• A third of all divorce filings in the US in 2011 contained the word Facebook in the reasons for divorce
• 8.7% of Facebook users aren't real people

These past few weeks I've been wrestling with the question of how do I use Facebook and other social media sites in a way that builds people up and honors God but doesn't waste my time and suck out my creativity. It's an interesting dilemma and probably one that we haven't had to face at the this degree ever before.

I believe in real relationship and I want to fight for authentic conversation, for real connection. I'll go to battle for quality time and face to face friendship. I have seen in my own life and in the lives of those around me how Facebook damages the willingness and necessity to connect with the people around us in real time.
However, Facebook is also a useful tool for keeping in touch with overseas friends, managing the various groups I'm involved in and organizing events.

I've been inspired by some friends recently who have deleted their Facebook accounts completely, choosing to rebel against a culture that tries to be connected at all times to the rest of the world. I admire that. They're people that are really great to spend time with because they value the real stuff.

The nature of the things I'm involved in makes it very hard to delete Facebook completely but I've made a decision that for the next month, Mr Facebook and I are going to take a break, clear the air and think about our priorities.

How can I use Facebook as a tool for encouraging and celebrating people and bringing glory to God through the way my life is seen there? How can I use Facebook as an outlet for my creativity and wisdom rather than letting it numb my brain and mindlessly scroll through other people's lives?
What does it look like to fight for quality relationships and have a part of those friendships be on Facebook?

These are the questions that I want to figure out over this next month while Mr Facebook tends to his other 1.44 billion devotees...

Until then, Skype me, call me, have coffee with me, come for a run with me....
Grace and Peace,
Aliesha